The Ultimate guide to dating gamers and nongamers

Dating can be complicated, but if you pair up a gamer with someone who doesn’t understand
the appeal, things will get rocky unless there’s some mutual understanding. Gaming is
something that still has a negative stigma attached to it by those who’ve never carried the
habit with them to adulthood. There is most likely going to be a few rows over the fact that
the gamer in question would rather play a game than spend that time bonding with their
partner.
So if you’re a gamer, how do you strike that balance between working, gaming and bonding
with your partner? If you’re a non-gamer who is dating a gamer, how do you put up with their
most beloved choice of entertainment without offending them or asking them to change who
they are?
Here’s a guide on how to deal with each of these explosive scenarios.


If You’re a Gamer Dating a Non-gamer

Communicate your passion for gaming to your partner

This is the most important thing to do when first establishing the relationship. Your partner
may think of gaming as a time-wasting habit that brings no value to either of your lives. You’ll
need to be honest and let them know how much you value video games. Be sure to explain
that you see gaming as a form of art and that it has become a way of life for you. Expand on
that by letting them know that gaming allows you to relax and unwind, while also filling you
full of insight.

The key here is to remove all of the negative propaganda about video games stored up in
their mind and make it clear to them that gaming means something to who you are as a
person. If they’re truly interested in you then they will respect this.

Try to include them if they’re open to it.

In an attempt to spend time with you and get to know you better, your partner may be open
to trying out some games with you. If they show this kind of interest then take advantage of
it. Select a simple but fun game that you can both enjoy together and play a few rounds.
Maybe even let them win.

Try to gauge their interest as you go along. If they seem like they’re not really enjoying it but
are just forcing themselves through it to please you, then don’t let the session go on to long.
The fact that they gave it a try for you shows their dedication to getting to know you and
understanding your passions. Be sure to show your appreciation.

Know when and when not to pick up the controller

Just because your partner tolerates your gaming habit, it doesn’t mean you should abuse it
and play all day without setting aside some time to bond with them.
If you live with your partner then it may be easier to determine when you can fit in some
game time because your partner should also be indulging in some of their own hobbies from
time to time.

If you don’t live with your partner and see each other at set periods of time then it’s probably
not the best idea to be gaming during these times unless they give you the go ahead or they
fall asleep on you. When you live away from your partner, it’s likely that they’ll want your
undivided attention when you do see each other, so don’t let gaming get in the way of your
bonding.

Plan ahead

Once your relationship is established, it’s likely you’ll always know what the other is doing.
You’ll always have plans on when to see each other and what you’ll be doing with each
other. This will give you a clearer idea of when you’ll be able to fit in some game time.
Maybe you could even fit in some gaming while your partner is at work for example.
Those of you who are studying or working will likely find it harder to juggle your work life,
relationship and “me time”, so planning ahead becomes more essential so that you know
when you can fit in a few hours of demon slaying.

If You’re a Non-gamer Dating a Gamer

Try to understand and respect their hobby

It’s extremely disrespectful to be dismissive and judgmental about someone’s hobby, and
you likely wouldn’t like someone to do the same to you even if you consider your hobbies to
be “normal”.
Be open to learning and understanding your partner’s pastime. Ask them questions about it
to learn more about their past and the origins of their gaming habits. You just my learn more
about them, and that should always be the goal in a relationship.

Be rational

If your partner is fair with the amount of time they spend bonding with you, then allow them
time alone to enjoy their games.
This doesn’t just come down to the act of gaming itself; it’s a well-known fact that it’s healthy
for all couples to spend some time away from each other. They say absence makes the
heart grow fonder, and that is certainly the case. If you struggle to be without your partner’s
attention when they’re around then maybe you should also find a hobby of your own to
indulge in so that you can both enjoy some time alone outside of your usual bonding.

Give it a go yourself

Nobody should be forced to like something that they have no interest in, but at some point it
would be a nice bonding exercise to play something with your partner to get a better
understanding of what they enjoy.
We’re not saying that you should sit taking turns at slaying demons with your partner for
hours. Your attempt to play with them can be as short as ten minutes; as long as you’ve
shown some interest what they enjoy then that’s all that matters. Who knows, maybe you’ll
even like it.

Never force them to choose between you or gaming

You should never have to give your partner an ultimatum or ask them to choose between
you or playing games. What we mean here is, you should never try to force or hint at your
partner that they should stop playing games indefinitely.
If they are playing games for 17 hours straight and ignoring you then that’s a different story.
But even in this scenario, you shouldn’t be asking them to stop gaming completely, you
should simply tell them that they need to cut down on the time they spend gaming so that
you can continue to have a healthy relationship.

Conclusion

If you follow this advice then gaming should never become much of an issue in your love life.
There’s a chance that some or all of this advice may not apply to you as I know some
gamers who are allowed to play games for as long as they wish without any issues
presenting themselves in the relationship.


This is all about understanding the needs of your boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband.
Understand their needs and what they’re comfortable with and then compromise.
Let us know in the comments if you have any further thoughts on this common problem.

Gary